An every day life

The thing about having a small child is that they force you into self-development whether you want it or not. You start out thinking you’re just going to teach them to eat peas and put socks on, and before you know it, you’re learning how to breathe through a tantrum in Lidl and interrogate your own childhood at 2am.

Last week was when we finally said goodbye to our fertility journey. After so many years trying and going through so many rounds and rounds of treatment before we were successful in having our daughter (who is nearly 3.5 at the time of writing) the time had come to finally say goodbye to that part of our lives.

I dropped my LO off at daycare again today. She goes 5 days a week. Which sometimes seems mad to me that she spends 8/9 hours away from us, whilst we work. Especially after the many years it took to have her, only for her to spend so much time away from us during the week. But, to be honest, what is the choice? We have to work to earn the money to support ourselves. And so, off she goes to daycare.

There’s nothing quite like mum guilt. You ae never doing the right things / enough of anything. I mean, I felt like this before sometimes, and whilst I also felt like I was on the set of countdown frequently too, there is something about time and small children which means that it either goes really fast or grindingly slow or is too much or never enough.

Going back to work after enjoying maternity leave was a little bittersweet. As much as I could tell babygirl seemed to be getting bored being with me all the time by the time she was 5 months old, or perhaps I was just running out of things to do with her all day as my other maternity leave mum friends had almost all gone back to work.