If you’re thinking about IVF you need to tell your manager.
Controversial? Probably, but bear with me.
If you’re starting IVF you’ve probably already been struggling to get pregnant for a while. You might have already tried various other options like clomid, IUI etc and this is the next stage. For IUI you might have experienced some life disruption as your follicle growth was tracked until you triggered ovulation.
IVF is a whole different ball game. You are probably going to have to travel further. You will be having appointments every 2-3 days. On extraction day you will be at the clinic fasted and early and then most likely unable to work/drive at least the rest of that day (if not a few days later)
With normal IVF you will be able to plan a little better as the cycle is entirely medicated, with mild/natural IVF you’re at the whims of your own cycle.
In addition to all this are the hormones. Oh the hormones. These cannot be underestimated! You might wake up feeling normal, and then be in tears 10 minutes later and 10 minutes after that want to kill someone. Imagine the worst PMT ever, and then having that for days/weeks on end.
So, you need to tell someone at work. If only to explain why you are up and down like a yo-yo. Personally I think telling everyone should be how we approach IVF. Part of the reason why people see IVF as a panacea is because no one really understands what’s involved because unless they are really close to a couple going through it no one talks about it.
This perpetuates the comments such as: ‘I knew a couple who were trying for years and when they stopped… poof! Pregnant’. *eye-roll*. If more people understand how brutal it is as a process, how much time it takes, and how it impacts on your life, and, MOST importantly, how it fails more often than it succeeds then maybe the process becomes more comfortable both for those going through it and also for all those on the periphery (friends, family and colleagues)
However, I know many aren’t as lucky as me to have understanding boss, work colleagues, connections etc, or be able to work remotely on those days when you need to travel to/from the clinic. But I think that those who do should try to explain whats involved in this whole process so that IVF stops being a dirty secret that you only turn to when all else has ‘failed’ and feel that people look at you with pity that you can’t do it naturally.
And if you’re a manager or business owner? Set your stall out early and demonstrate that you still can be successful and undergo the tough IVF process. This will help educate those managers who still see IVF (for women) as a career death knell.